she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
