just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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