yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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