i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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