Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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