i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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