I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
someone owes me an orgasm
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
