i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
