I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
