the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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