let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
