Someone shit on the floor
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
