O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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