How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize