i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
