Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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