So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
