I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
