We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
