I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
