he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
