You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
