they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
