I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize