Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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