she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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