it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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