I cannot find my penis.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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