yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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