listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you will always have a special place in my vag
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
