Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
