There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
