Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
