I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
