So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
