is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
