what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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