you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
ttyl tear gas
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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