This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
