he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
