Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
