she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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