I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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