I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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