You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
