I hate your face
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
