Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
