I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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