Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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