why im i the only drunk person in the library?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize