i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
