No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
