i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
My dick has a subreddit
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
