This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
