Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
