Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
