i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Two words: blizzard sex
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize