I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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