and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
