i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
