last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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