i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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