I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize